News on the scan front, expecting miracles
What is your statement of belief?
I just received a call from oncologist with my PET scan results. As I suspected, the chemo is not working. The good news is that it was only a small progression (.1 centimeter), and yes it was in that pesky lymph node under my arm.
Luckily, I spent some quality time yesterday with myself and God. I went back to the practices that have served me so well: prayer, affirmations, visualization and self-love and care. I went from being fearful to faithful, knowing that whatever the outcome of the scan, I was going to be OK.
I affirmed that if the scan showed the chemo isn’t working, this is just a temporary bump in the road to finding something that works. So when I just received the news, I felt hopeful rather than dread-filled. I know that God is leading me in the right direction. I already have another course of treatment and possibly a clinical trial that seems very promising. This is thanks to my second opinion from one of the top breast cancer oncologists a few weeks ago. Again, God is leading me in the right direction, even if the road seems a little crooked – and especially bumpy – sometimes.
What prompted my re-dedication to spiritual practices was a phone conversation yesterday with Terry McBride, an author and speaker who coached me last year. I called him about doing a guest blog post on affirmations (which you’ll see next week). We talked about my situation and he helped me realize I’ve been neglecting these daily rituals.
In his book, The Hell I Can’t, Terry talks about his experience of healing from an “incurable” E-coli infection that was eating away his spine One of the many things Terry did was to create a primary affirmation he calls a ”statement of belief.” He wrote it on an index card and read it several times a day.
My husband Mike has a statement of belief that he has been reading every day for the past two years. He sticks to things better than I do. Mike sent me an email with the portion of it that’s about me. It reads like an obituary – but in a very good way! Here it is:
Tami: 1963-2057. Miracle cancer survivor-one of the first to benefit from breakthroughs in breast cancer treatment. Internationally acclaimed Author. Inspirational speaker. Good wife and mom. Happy. Healthy. Sexy.
The sexy part I’ll have to work on, but you get the point. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have such a great, supportive partner. But I don’t want to leave it all on him to affirm the goodness I expect in life. I’m going to expand on my statement of belief to include the book and this blog, as well as healing. Most importantly, I’m going to use it and make it part of my daily routine.
I’m signing off now so I can get to my job of taking care of myself. Hope you all have a great weekend, and don’t forget to visit here next week to read Terry’s guest blog post!
Becky says:
I am going to share with you two things that prove very powerful for me when I need them most:
1. If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
2. “The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.”
Tami, stay strong and hold steadfast in your faith. Enjoy your weekend and know that there are prayers for you!
Other Becky says:
When I read your obit in 2057, I will demand a retraction if it doesn’t say “sexy” in it.
Stay strong! Love the belief statement.
Carla Carter says:
Tami, I too just got the results of my CT scan and like you my chemo doesn’t appear to be working on the many liver mets I was diagnosed with in August. Up to that point I had only bone mets and have been stage 4 since original diagnosis in March of 06.
I recently took my care to the University of Michigan as I have had too many mistakes with my care with the 2 general oncologists I had previously.
I have been very depressed for the last few months so am working hard on that to find the hope I had that I can actually live and be somewhat happy living with this awful disease.
I’m now researching the mind/body connection and positive thinking and affirmations. I too believe the state of mind makes a direct impact on the state of our body. I’m reading “Love, Medicine, & Miracles” by
Bernie S. Siegel, MD and Full Catastrophe Living by John Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. I looked at the reviews on these books on amazon.com. I’ve also got some books on hold from the library on self-hypnosis.
This disease is so hard to deal with on both the physical and emotional levels.
tamilb says:
Thanks for the comments and encouragement – and yes, I plan on being sexy when I’m 94, Becky!
Carla, Bernie Siegel’s book is wonderful and was one of the first ones I read when I was going through I was first diagnosed. I had the pleasure of meeting and working with him when my employer brought him to town for a wellness conference.
I think the body-mind-spirit connection is so powerful, and getting second opinions is the way to go. I went through some depression at first, but came out of it when I discovered my purpose and started helping others. It will pass, as long as you continue to seek ways you can impact your healing. Sounds like you’re on the right track!
Sally says:
Tami – you are such an inspiration. To be able to acknowledge the disappointments and what could be set-backs, without becoming overtaken by them is so empowering. You provide a light for all of us, whether it’s cancer or something else that life has put in front of us to face. Surely God is smiling on you for enabling Him/Her to experience this remarkable, troubling, confusing, depressing, strengthening, situation. Know that you have many souls who are with you.
Nevine says:
Well my friend, it seems you plan on living 2 years longer than i plan. You knowwhat our friend Joel will say: in the natural world sometimes things look like they are not working but in the supernatural world you are already healed. No fear you are protected. Love.
Sharon says:
Keep that positive attitude!
Jo says:
Tami, because of your strength and faith you are SUCH a teacher and healer!
BTW – give that husband of yours a HUGE hug for me. What an obit! Love it. And the name of Terry’s book made me laugh. Can’t wait to read his post.
Thanks for reaching out and healing others while healing yourself. Your strength and conviction shines through!
Debby says:
Hi Tammy. I am Nevine’s friend and also a member of the “Pink Ribbon Club”. She told me about your blog so add me to the list of followers. I’m sorry about your scan results. Part of the disappointment is because you “put in the work” without the expected result. It must be frustrating for an overacheiver like you to be bested (this time) by some stinkin’ tiny cells. My suggestion is to get mad at them. Declare war and TAKE NO PRISIONERS!! And then move on. I am so glad you are taking your war out of town though. Pick from the best brains. I always say thank God they were in the library studying while I was out partying in college. Anyway, you already know that it is counter productive to waste negative energy on this thing. You have that part wired. Good for you. You are showing us all the way. We are all given so many minutes in this life. No matter what happens to us we need to take those minutes and make the most of them. Isn’t that all that life is about?
tamilb says:
Thank you Debby for your comment. Yes, I think it’s good to have a fighting mentality. In my visualizations, I picture my white cells sucking the cancer cells dry, while the Arimidex is starving them of their food (estrogen). And if anything is left, God’s healing light melts them away.
tamilb says:
Thanks Jo, I appreciate you so much!