Patty’s story: love motivated her healing

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all," as the song says.

With Valentine’s Day soon upon us, I wanted to share another story from my book, which I think exemplifies the healing power of love – especially self-love.

Patty Mele has had to overcome many challenges in her life – the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in college and a son (Andrew) with mitochondria, a metobolic disease that zaps his energy. She handled both beautifully until she was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in 2007.

She was terrified she would no longer be there to take care of her teenage son. But she learned she needed to take care of herself in order to be around for him. Today she is cancer-free with a new perspective on life.

I asked my doctor if I was going to die. She told me, “We’re going to do everything we can do to save you and beat this.”

And I did everything I could do, too. I fought so I could be there for Andrew. I felt horrible; it wasn’t fair to my son. As a teenager, I had lost both my parents within two years of each other, and I didn’t want that happening to him.

I was so mad at this cancer; it was not taking me! I thought, “This can’t fall apart. If he lost me, it would change the whole outcome of his life.”

Perseverance kicks in when you have a goal. I was determined to beat this and be there for my child. So I had this attitude that we’ll get it done and get through it.

I think Andrew was a little angry and scared during this time. Mom’s always been there and cleared the path for him; then suddenly, he couldn’t depend on Mom. But I realized I had to take care of myself if I was going to make it.

Facing death has helped me slow down. I finally put the brakes on and took a real good look at my life. Now I try to put myself first instead of just tending to my son’s and every one else’s needs. I’m not as much of a people-pleaser as I was prior to my diagnosis, and am rediscovering what brings happiness to my life.