Rx for scanxiety: staying in the moment

Yes, it's that time again!

I always try to keep my posts upbeat. After all, the tagline of this blog is “information and inspiration for cancer thrivers.”  However, I find there is healing power in relating shared experiences, especially difficult ones.

I just discovered a blog today called BeingOptimistic.blogspot.com, by a fellow cancer survivor in Canada. She was talking about getting a scan, describing the worrying, the body aches, the attempt to analyze the technician’s facial expressions– all the classic symptoms of scanxiety. Yes, I can relate.

Today I had my PET scan, which I have every three months. As always, I start to worry a few days beforehand, look anxiously at my tech’s face as I emerge from my tunnel, then spend the day fighting fears that it will turn out bad. I start to question everything I’m doing–maybe the DIM is counteracting the Arimidex or I let stress get to me too much. I see myself back in the chemo suite…or worse.

Luckily, this passes. I turn to what has helped me all along: my faith in my higher power, whom I call God, and in myself.  I read encouraging words from Joel Osteen or my meditation book, Daily Word. It’s no coincidence that today’s Daily Word says: “Right now, I have everything I need. As I become aware of the truth of this statement, I am able to drop any worries about what is to come. In this moment, I let go of any fear or anxiety about the future and rest in unwavering faith.”

I’ll get my scan results tomorrow. To get through this day, I need to focus on today, this moment, and nothing else. Today I feel good–except for my arm being sore from holding up for an hour! I have exciting things planned, such as being interviewed by CURE magazine and getting a new stove installed (yes, that’s exciting to me!). God has blessed me with a beautiful, spring day to go out and enjoy.

Faith is one of the common attributes I found of the miracle survivors I interviewed for my book, From Incurable to Incredible. Almost every person had a faith in something larger than themselves to get them through their ordeal. All I have to do is think of people in my book like Yvonne Cooper or Brenda Michaels, who went through several recurrences and are now cancer-free.

I know that even if these results don’t turn out as I’d like, there will be other avenues for me to take.  For now, I will rest in this moment, which is pretty good right now.

BOOK NEWS: Speaking of good things, I am now in the design process of From Incurable to Incredible. If all goes well in this phase, the book should be released by next month. Stay tuned for more updates!