Resilience: bouncing back from adversity
Bouncing back is a choice.
I’ve been watching more TV than usual lately. It has always been an escape, a guilty pleasure, but sometimes it can be a source of inspiration
There was a program on TLC the other night about Joanne Fluke, who was born with tiny webbed legs that would never work or grow. Actually it appears as if she has no legs at all. When she was born, they didn’t think she’d survive, but at age 34 she is thriving…so much so that she and a partner won a dance competition. Now she is determined to put ballroom wheelchair dancing on the map.
To look at her is shocking, but when she talks, you forget about it. She’s vivacious, confident and extremely optimistic. Her disability is overshadowed by her abilities.
Then this morning I was watching Good Morning America’s interview with Fantasia, who won American Idol years back. She attempted suicide because she couldn’t handle the public scrutiny associated with fame. Now, with the help of a life coach, Fantasia is healing and releasing a new album.
I found it ironic that she was interviewed by Robin Roberts, whose “courageous and public battle has been recognized with awards and honors from organizations around the country.”
So what makes someone swallow pills to end it all, while others overcome much more difficult circumstances? It made me think about a quality Joanne Fluke, Robin Roberts and the cancer survivors in From Incurable to Incredible all share: resilience. According to dictionary.com, resilience is “the ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like.”
Joanne, Robin and most of the people in From Incurable to Incredible credit their faith, strong support from friends and family, and being true to themselves. Another thing I noticed is they didn’t see themselves as victims. It would be easy to sit back and feel sorry for themselves, but instead they took action to turn things around.
That’s not to say, you can’t feel grief or loss over a situation. I certainly go through times of fear and sadness. But I think what sets apart thriving from merely surviving is that ability to move through those feelings, get back on your feet, and make something good out of it.
For me, it’s a decision I have to make every day. Am I going to be a victim or a victor? I’m shooting for the latter.
Sherri says:
Inspiring, Tami – truly. Have you ever looked at the Nienie Dialogues blog on my list? Another good story…. resilient wife, mother, blogger, creative soul dealing with adversity (life after an accident in which she was badly burned). We need to chat, eh? I think when school starts, I will have some “phone time”. But I digress
.
Truly – your words encouraging people to be true to themselves, seek support from those close to them and NOT see themselves as victims ring so true. I have been close to situations in which even the caregivers / loved ones begin to go that “victim” route, and it just has devastating effects on the person who is actually dealing with the illness, etc. You HAVE to get back up, move forward, handle what needs to be handled and stay positive!
Dee says:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
I like the word resilience. And you hit the nail on the head when you said we ( speaking as a survivor) do feel sad, angry and intense stress at times. We are not positive 100% of the time. I choose to see every day as a blessing – however hard it may be .
tamilb says:
Yes, it is really impossible to be positive 100 percent of the time; I agree Dee! That is an important distinction. And as Sherry says, choosing to NOT be a victim helps everyone – caregivers and those dealing with cancer or other illnesses.
angie mickey says:
You definitely are a Victor and you are helping others to overcome their life difficulties.