Update on me: physical, mental and spiritual

Mike took this picture several years ago. I think it says it all.

Mike took this picture several years ago. I think it says it all.

“Hope expects an answer sometime in the future; faith takes it as having already been given.” -H. Emile Cady

I have been stalling writing a blog post, mostly because I strive to be totally honest here, and I don’t want to worry you all. Another reason is I wanted to have a game plan to share with you rather than leave you up in the air. I am facing a scary time right now.

The cancer has grown to the point that it is affecting my bodily functions. Last week, I was in two emergency rooms for almost a day and hospital for two days due to a partial bowel obstruction. (For my husband Mike’s update of events leading up to this, click HERE.) They took me off the clinical trial that I’ve been on as it obviously is not working at all.

It is pedal to the metal time now. I am getting a liver biopsy on Tuesday for a brand new trial called MATCH that will see if I qualify for one of 10 study medications. I will look at further trials in the event they don’t find a match. Besides being on a semi-liquid diet (certain mushy foods are allowed), I feel good. I am focusing on getting nutrition and trying to satiate my hunger. I am not in pain and I can walk and do normal activities. It feels like the calm before the storm.

Mike reminds me how bleak things looked three years ago until  I found Afinitor, which worked for 20 months. I still have faith that once again I will find a treatment that works. I am leaving no stone unturned.

As I did when I was first diagnosed as stage IV back in 2008, I am turning to my faith to keep me calm and focused. When my thoughts go dark, I pick up my extensively highlighted and underlined copy of The Complete Works of H. Emily Cady and readings from The Daily Word. A turn-of-the-century homeopathic practitioner and metaphysician, Cady treated her patients both medically and spiritually.

Believe me, I’ve done some pleading with and crying to God, but I feel comfort by doing affirmative prayer. It’s not just hoping I’ll get better, it is having faith that God is already working in and through me. Despite what scans say or the doctors say, I can affirm “God is in me, full abundant health now.” I know this may sound weird for some of you, especially for those of you who don’t believe in God. I’m just sharing what is helping me right now and what has helped me in other times of crisis.

So many people have reached out with prayers and offers of help. I’ve received so many flowers, cards and even a care package from some lovely young girls and their mother, whom I met at the Survivorville convention this summer. I feel very blessed and thankful for all of you. Know that I feel your prayers and love.

As the name of this blog and my book indicates, I believe in miracles. I’ve seen them happen in others and in my life. And I’m open to them now.

17 Comments

  1. tamilb
    Aug 24, 2015

    Thanks Nancy! I will.

  2. Nancy's Point
    Aug 24, 2015

    Hi Tami,
    I am thinking about you. Keep us posted when you can. Sending love.

  3. Sue Woods
    Aug 21, 2015

    You fought before and you will again! I’m with you. Mets-leptomeninges disease-treatment not working. Miracles are good!

  4. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    Thank you Jackie. I will.

  5. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    Hola Marta! Thank you so much mi amiga. Sorry for my poor Espanol.

  6. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    And you, as well, Heidi. Thank you!

  7. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    Yes, Kelly! Thanks so much!

  8. Jackie
    Aug 20, 2015

    Hi Tami. My heart and thoughts are with you. Please let me know when you are in Indy.

    Jackie

  9. Marta
    Aug 20, 2015

    Tami, you are daily in my prayers. Your words are support and inspiration for my soul. God bless you and your family!!
    Hugs from Buenos Aires.

  10. Heidi
    Aug 20, 2015

    Oh Tami, my heart grieves for you. Such a frightening time. You might like the entry “Lamp unto My Feet” in “Thriver Soup.” Glad you are feeling okay and getting nourishment down. May the Divine light your path enough to get you to each new stage.

  11. Kelly Turner
    Aug 20, 2015

    Sending prayers your way, Tami. As a healer I met once said, “Just keep making changes until you find the change(s) your body/mind/spirit was asking you to make.” Xo

  12. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    xoxo

  13. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    Amen, Wendy. Thank you.

  14. tamilb
    Aug 20, 2015

    Thank you so much for this and for your help and guidance, June!

  15. June Braunlich
    Aug 20, 2015

    Reading this I feel blessed by your wonderfully written words. I share your belief in the power of God’s Universe to change many seemingly impossible challenges, including our very cells. For many years I have been a participant in guided meditation, and have lived to see the change and progress it brings. It seems most powerful when I do this with a group of loving souls. You, Tami, are in the center of a large group of souls who love you. Thank you for being one of my blessings.

  16. Linda
    Aug 20, 2015

    May the correct stone be in your path right now.

  17. Wendy Doherty
    Aug 20, 2015

    God bless you, Tami. Ask. Believe. Receive. Carrying you close in my heart.

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